If you have friends who are into startups, you're probably always talking about cool ideas or projects they’re working on. Maybe it's an idea for an app, or a plan for a new business. Those kinds of conversations are fun because they’re full of possibility. But they’re also tricky, especially when things aren't fully baked yet. When you’re still figuring things out, it’s hard to get useful feedback, and it’s hard to know how much to share. You don’t want to sound like you’re overpromising, but you also don’t want to undersell an idea that could be big. It’s a tough balance.
Every group of friends has those kinds of conversations where there’s an unspoken rule that what’s said stays between you. No one needs to say it out loud; it’s just understood. And there are different levels to it. Sometimes it’s something small, like an idea you’re just toying with. Other times, it’s bigger—like a new project or a deal that could change everything if it works out. Having that kind of trust means you can be more open, and being open is what helps ideas grow.
That’s why I started thinking about what I call a FrieNDA: NDA with a Friend. It’s not an official document. It’s more like a name for that unwritten agreement between friends. It means, “I trust you with this idea, and I know you’ll treat it with care.” It’s about having each other’s backs. With a FrieNDA, you can talk about what you’re working on without worrying that someone will steal it or share it with the wrong people. It’s a kind of safety net that lets you be vulnerable enough to say, “This is what I’m dreaming of.”
The more I think about it, the more I realize how important FrieNDAs are—not just for protecting ideas, but for building the kind of community where people feel comfortable sharing at all. A lot of the best startup ideas come from just talking things through with friends, and that only happens if people feel safe. A FrieNDA is a way of creating that safety. It’s about making it easier for people to share their thoughts, get real feedback, and maybe even find someone who wants to help make it happen. That’s how new things get built—by being open enough to say what you’re thinking, and by having people around you who support you.
In my friend group, we’ve started using “FrieNDA” as shorthand. If someone’s about to share something sensitive, they just say, “FrieNDA.” It’s our way of signaling, “Hey, this matters to me, and I need you to keep it between us.” It’s funny how much of a difference that makes. It’s not just for startup ideas, either—it works for all kinds of things. Personal news, gossip, stuff that’s going on at work. Having that understanding in place makes it easier to be open, because you know the people around you have your back. It’s about creating a safe space, no matter what the topic is.
If you want to build something new, you need people you can talk to about it—people you trust enough to share the messy, early version of your ideas. That’s what FrieNDAs are for. They’re about keeping things real, being honest, and making it easier for good ideas to turn into great ones. So next time you’re talking to your startup friends about that next big idea, think about how a FrieNDA could make that conversation even better. It’s that invisible bond that makes sharing possible, and it’s one of the reasons friendships are so powerful when you’re building something new.